Divorce and Child Custody
Mediation
By Kathy Memel, Ph.D, MFT
“The notion that most people want
black-robed judges, well dressed lawyers and fine-paneled
courtrooms as the setting to resolve their disputes is not
correct. People with problems, like people with pains, want
relief, and they want it as quickly and inexpensively as possible”
-Chief Justice Warren E. Burger
United States Supreme Court
What is Divorce Mediation?
Mediation is a cooperative rather than a combative approach
to settling disputes Out of Court. Divorce mediation is an
alternative to litigation and provides a way to avoid unpredictable
and costly courtroom battles.
Rather than having a judge make final decisions for the parties,
as mediators we help couples negotiate and decide all aspects
of their Stipulated Judgment of Dissolution in a private,
confidential setting, and avoid hiring adversarial lawyers.
Our role as mediators is to provide direction and information
without giving legal advice, and act as neutral and unbiased
facilitators.
In our mediation process, we use a Therapist/Attorney team
approach and help couples work through the legal, psychological
and financial problems related to dissolving their marriage.
As co-mediators we strive to create a balanced negotiating
environment, where both parties’ interests, needs and
concerns are acknowledged.
Our goal is to facilitate the creation of a mutually agreeable
settlement in which both parties have participated equally,
having understood all the information, elements and options
involved in their decision making.
How Does it Work?
When both parties have agreed to choose mediation as an
alternative to going to court, an initial session is scheduled
and participants receive an orientation to mediation and we
begin the process of reaching a Stipulated Judgment, which
is then submitted to the court for approval. Each session
is usually two hours in length. The number of sessions needed
to reach an agreement depends upon the complexity of the issues,
as well as the participants’ ability to work cooperatively
toward a solution.
We help the participants examine their individual needs and
negotiate long-term agreements regarding the division of property
and debt, spousal support, child custody, parenting plans,
etc. Together we evaluate present financial circumstances
and provide for future financial needs.
When an agreement is reached, the parties sign the appropriate
documents only when satisfied that the agreement is fair.
It’s also important for each party to have their own
consulting attorney review the agreement on their behalf before
signing. The agreement is incorporated into a Stipulated Judgment
of Dissolution which becomes binding once it is entered by
the court. We prepare all the legal paperwork, making it unnecessary
for the parties to appear in court.
Is Divorce Mediation Right for Your Clients?
People who are capable of seeking a healthier problem-solving
approach, free of financial and emotional chaos associated
with an adversarial divorce, are excellent candidates for
divorce mediation, regardless of the stage of one’s
divorce proceedings.
If your clients are contemplating separation, we can assist
them in establishing a temporary agreement to handle any immediate
concerns.
If your clients are already divorced and need assistance
in resolving changes in child custody, visitation, or support,
mediation can address these changes.
Clients who are caught in a destructive litigation process
often can’t afford to continue the therapy they need
with you, they stop treatment prematurely and make poor emotional
decisions, rather than informed decisions. Mediation can often
allow clients to continue their work with you, take the healing
time they need, and grow from this painful experience.
Advantages of Mediation:
* Less Expensive
A mediated divorce can save your clients 80% - 90% of the
costs associated with a litigated divorce.
A recent study cited by the American Bar Association found
that the average cost of a Mediation was $6,600, and an “amicable”
divorce settlement negotiated by counsel costs $26,830. The
cost of a “friendly” divorce with one hearing
was between $l8,000 and $72,000. The average “litigated”
divorce costs $77,746, and if the case goes to trial the cost
can exceed $l00,000+,
* Self Determination
In a litigated divorce, couples are forced to live with
the decisions of a stranger, i.e., the judge. In a mediated
divorce there are no surprises. The mediators do not make
the final decisions, the parties do. Mediation is a win-win
situation.
* Less Stress
Mediation helps transform the crises of divorce and loss,
to one of recovery and growth, for adults and their children.
* Children
Parents have the opportunity to reduce conflict and create
a workable parenting plan which focuses on the best interests
of their children.
* Increased Stability
A cooperative problem-solving approach ensures longer lasting
results and better compliance between the parties.
* Privacy
There are no court appearances necessary and personal information
remains confidential.
Dr.Kathy
Memel is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and
Divorce & Child Custody Mediator with 25+ years experience.
She offers Divorce Supports Groups and her practice is in
Beverly Hills. (310) 286-9201
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