Adult Children of Alcoholics

In the mid 1970’s the first Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) meeting was started in Manhattan by a group in al anon who found they had a lot in common from growing up in alcoholic families. Out of this group “The Laundry List” created by Tony A. became the foundation of ACA and when others heard this list felt as if it could have been a list they had written about themselves. You can learn more about the ACA program at their web site http://www.adultchildren.org

Out of the alcohol treatment community, concepts of dysfunctional family dynamics started to come forward in articles by Claudia Black, Stephanie Brown and Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse. The general public seemed to be introduced to dysfunctional families by the John Bradshaw 1988 PBS series and his first book, Bradshaw on the Family. This launched the Co-Dependency and Inner Child movement, opening up treatment programs, the John Bradshaw treatment program here in Los Angeles for one and workshops across the country helping people to reclaim their inner child.

These characteristics of growing up in an Alcoholic family seem to fit growing up in any family that experiences a lot of chaos and trauma.

Dr. Janet G. Woititz suggests these 13 characteristics of Adult Children:

• Guess at what normal is.
• Have difficulty in following a project through from beginning to end.
• Lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.
• Judge themselves without mercy.
• Have difficulty having fun.
• Take themselves very seriously.
• Have difficulty with intimate relationships.
• Overreact to changes over which they have no control.
• Constantly seek approval and affirmation.
• Feel that they are different from other people.
• Are either super responsible or super irresponsible.
• Are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that loyalty is undeserved.
• Tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. This impulsivity leads to confusion, self-loathing, and loss of control of their environment. As a result, they spend tremendous amounts of time cleaning up the mess.

These characteristics are a starting point. You may relate to them or not. Growing up in an alcoholic family will certainly impact you. When you can identify how you are impacted then you can start to challenge the belief that comes from that behavior. Change comes with interrupting your usual response.